Experiment

Need an experiment to see who your friends are? Want to find out how tacky or ghetto someone can be? One experiment will accomplish both:

Method:

  1. Plan a dinner party–the kind you have once or twice a year.
  2. Work for months on a menu and drinks list to go with your stock of liquor.
  3. Hand deliver invitations that explains what you’ll serve.
  4. Rush to buy the things you plan to buy anyway…but with haste since you’ll need them for the party.
  5. Buy the food, and spend close to a couple hundred bucks for 8 people (including restocking of wine and spirits).
  6. Confirm the invitations the day before to make sure you’ll have enough food.
  7. See who shows up.

Findings:

Guaranteed someone will back out at the last minute, and of course an emergency cancellation is understandable—as would be finding an accident report in the newspaper the next day saying the person or a family member was maimed or killed. However, if you have someone who says they are coming and is excited about the party, then just doesn’t show up for no reason at all—that person is a flaming asshole and should be deleted from your cell phone/address book and scribbled out in the phone book. It’s easy to figure out who your friends are with this experiment. Sadly small claims court to recoup your money would be gratifying, but impractical.

 

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